so yesterday i did DOM (or STP) for the second time. this is such an intense experience, it took doing it a second time to realize what was happening the first time.
i picked up a couple of friends, dropped, then drove to UCONN for a Less Than Jake and Catch-22 show. i started feeling the effects as soon as i walked in the door, and by the time the show started, i was tripping hard. the colored lights were amazing, the music was entrancing, the people were mesmerizing to watch. unfortunately, i started losing recognition of the space around me, and i knew there were a bunch of cops at the show, so i got freaked out and had to leave like halfway through the first set.
well, after that, me and my sober friend were just wandering around campus, we went back to her room for a bit, ya know, normal random trip stuff, just whatever comes up. the whole time, anything that had any kind of reflection appeared to be colored like oil reflecting in a puddle. that purple, green, gold kinda color. that wasnt the weird thing, though. the weird thing was the shapes. any flat surface had these shapes all over. sometimes they were colorful, like a neon rainbow, sometimes they were the same color as the object i was looking at, and sometimes they were just random colors. they always pulsed, as if it was a giant speaker system that made no sound. they were perfectly defined and precise, yet they had no boundaries or borders. they were clear as day, yet i couldnt focus on them. they were always exactly the same, but they always changed. pointy, dangerous, evil, beautiful, good, helpful shapes. i was so frustrated the whole night that i was seeing these instantly recognizable shapes, but i couldnt describe or draw them.
the other focus of the night was time. time moved with increasing slowness the longer i didnt look at my phone (which i use as my watch). it also looped back on itself over and over. i would go through the same routines, say the same things, over and over, realizing i had done it before, but continuing on anyway. i was able to shut off my eyes, with them still open, and replay scenes from earlier in the night with scary detail. in the 40 minutes i was in the show, i checked my phone at least every 5 minutes, and 4 or 5 hours later, i could remember every exact minute that i checked. it was like i had amnesia, deja vu, and a photographic memory all at the same time.
i was able to write the most amazing, beautiful poems in my head, but by the time i finished the last line, i forgot the first one, and when i tried to remember the first one, i forgot the second one, and so on. that happened probably 5 or 6 times, then finally i wrote one so short i was able to remember it until i could grab a pencil and paper.
all in all, it was a confusing and frustrating night, but it was amazingly fun, and it will give me a lot to think about for quite a while.